Pregnancy Advice for First-Time Moms: 6 Tips to Make Life a Little Easier
Becoming a mom for the first time is exciting, overwhelming, and sometimes scary. We’ve compiled a list of six pieces of pregnancy advice for first-time moms to help you adjust to your new role as a super mama!
There is no shortage of advice circling around when it comes to becoming a new mother. Whether it’s your in-laws keeping you informed on all the old wives' tales, or a stranger on the street, trying to keep track of things you need to do for your baby can be daunting.
One of the most crucial pieces of advice you’ll receive as a new parent is to trust yourself. Trust yourself to know what not only your baby needs but also what you need. While reading through this blog ensure that you take away the things that work for you and your life. Try not to be too hard on yourself and remember this is your first time as a mom.
There will always be a learning curve, and hopefully this blog can ease some of the stresses of first-time parenting.
This post will cover some of what we think are the most important things new moms should know, including:
How to schedule, sleep, meals, and mommy time
Adjusting to breastfeeding
Fears about developing a connection with your baby
Postpartum physical changes not to worry about
How can you and your partner adjust to the little one without losing your relationship
Pros and Cons of co-sleeping
Just remember to be patient with yourself – you’re doing great!
1. How to Schedule Sleep, Meals, and Mommy Time
Routines for your baby aren’t essential but could prove very helpful as you start your journey as a parent. When you first bring the baby home everything will be new, not only for the baby, but for you as well. Putting your baby on a schedule could help you adjust to parenting and make planning your days much easier.
The general consensus among experts on when to start your baby on a schedule is in between 2-4 months.
Most babies start to develop predictable behaviours at the three- to four month mark, this is when you can start falling in line with these timelines and adjusting them as needed.
The best way to start pinpointing your baby’s patterns and needs is often by using a log book. New parents tend to keep a journal of newborn feeding and sleeping times and act accordingly. There are also some useful apps for this exact purpose including:
Huckleberry: Baby and Child
Cubtale Baby Tracker
Nara Baby Tracker
At around six months, your baby will start to understand night and day. This makes scheduling sleeping, feeding, and nap times much easier.
Ensure at this time you start a consistent nighttime routine, nothing too fancy, just something consistent. Perhaps, a bath then pajamas then a lullaby. Something that will signify to your baby that it’s time for bed.
Don’t expect their schedules to be perfect right away and make sure you are focusing on what your baby needs and adjusting accordingly.
During nap times and sleep times, ensure you’re making time for yourself and your partner. Although organization is crucial, don't always spend this time cleaning after the baby. Find yourself time to rest,too. This can be overwhelming to do all at once but just try your best!
2. Adjusting to Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is a relatively common practice amongst new mothers but can be nerve-racking and anxiety-inducing when mothers feel the pressure to breastfeed their babies. There often isn’t much honesty around the subject which deters mothers from asking questions which could ease their concerns.
There is a lot of pressure on new moms to breastfeed their babies. Sometimes the pressure is so high that they keep going despite it obviously negatively impacting their mental health and at times even connection to the baby. Pressure to breastfeed has been linked with increased risk of postpartum depression and anxiety. You need to focus on what is best for you and your family. A fed baby and a healthy happy mom are a priority and it’s ok not to breastfeed if it’s not going well and negatively affect your mood and ability to enjoy motherhood.
If you want to breastfeed don’t despair if there are initially some struggles. Although it is a natural occurrence, breastfeeding takes time and practice as mom and baby get adjusted to one another. Early breastfeeding sessions can take around 30 minutes to an hour but will get easier and more efficient as the baby better grasps the concept.
There are also things like prenatal breastfeeding classes which can be recommended by your healthcare provider to get you ready for the task. You can also see a lactation consultant through your hospital or hire one privately at home. Some insurance companies cover this service.
A mother’s milk doesn’t always produce right away and can take up to five days postpartum to develop – be patient and don’t panic.
Some moms need reassurance to build up their confidence. For this, we recommend joining a class or talking to your healthcare provider if you’re worried you’re not “doing it right.”
Some moms find the beginnings of breastfeeding painful or uncomfortable. This is normal and something that you will adjust with if you choose to stick with it.
Remember, you have to do whatever you feel comfortable with in the long run. Choosing formula over breastfeeding is totally okay and not a cause for concern or judgment.
You need to do what's best for not only your baby but yourself as well.
3. Fears About Developing a Connection with your Baby
Not feeling connected to your baby right away is one of the biggest and most common fears new parents can have. It can take time to feel connected to your child, and this time isn't concrete. For some, it takes days; for others, it can take months, it’s not something to be immediately concerned about.
Concerns should come in when you’re feeling consistently low and disconnected from your baby. In this case, seek help from a healthcare professional and a therapist. They can help you through this difficult time.
Postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression are very real and there are many trained professionals ready to help you through this!
There are many different factors which can cause postpartum anxiety, some of the most common include hormonal changes, a family history, or a personal history of anxiety.
Postpartum depression is the most common postpartum mental health disorder. Some of the symptoms between postpartum depression and anxiety are similar making it hard to decipher the difference.
It is extremely important to seek treatment if you believe you are experiencing postpartum depression.
It’s important to stay mindful of the signs and symptoms of both disorders and make sure to distinguish them from the “baby blues” which aren’t as chronic or persistent.
Baby blues can affect the connection you have with your child. These blues typically last two to three weeks and you may find it easier to bond with your baby after they go away.
Skin-to-skin contact is a good way to bond with the baby for both parents. You’re able to engage more senses than just sight and connect with your baby on a bit of a deeper level.
Lack of support and failing to make time for yourself can also affect how you feel toward your child. As we said earlier about scheduling, be sure to include time for yourself. It's hard work being a mom, taking a break isn’t selfish it’s well deserved.
4. Postpartum Physical Changes not to Worry About
One of the major concerns after having your baby is probably going to be when you’ll be back to feeling and looking how you did prior to pregnancy.
Each person's recovery after childbirth is unique and you should be careful not to compare your progress to someone else’s. You’re all doing your best.
Breast swelling and tenderness is one of the most common postpartum symptoms one will experience. To ease the discomfort, you can try icing them, expelling some milk prior to feeding your baby, and finding a comfortable supportive bra.
While delivering your baby, your muscles stretch which can sometimes lead to temporary loss of urinary control. Urinary incontinence is another postpartum symptom that you may not have experienced prior to pregnancy. You can try Kegel exercises to improve the muscles for urination and if this problem persists contact your healthcare provider.
While breastfeeding it's possible you may not get your period until after you wean your baby off of breastfeeding. The first few periods following delivery may be irregular; this is not abnormal.
It will take around six to eight weeks following delivery for your uterus to return to its normal size. During this time you may experience cramping, bleeding, and other physical changes associated with menstruation.
Your abdominal muscles will come back slowly and it’s important to stay patient with yourself. If you experienced a “no complication” vaginal delivery, you can begin working out six to eight weeks after the birth or as soon as you feel up to it.
Your hair may begin to fall out after delivery, but this is nothing to be concerned about. It could continue for up to six months after delivery but new hair will grow within five to 15 months. As far as getting back into the physical activity aspect, it can be hard as a new mom to know
where to begin. Like everything else, start slow.
It can be hard, with a newborn, trying to find time to exercise. Remember you are doing your best, with the hormonal changes and physical changes there are going to be days when you look forward to going out for a walk or doing some low-impact exercises. There will be other days when that’s the furthest thing from your mind, and that’s okay. Be sure to lean on family and friends throughout this time.
To start back into exercise, try some low-impact exercises, and look up activities designed to help with pelvic floor and cramping.
5. How can you and your Partner Adjust to the Little one Without Losing your Relationship
Having a baby can put a strain on the relationship you have with your partner. You have to remember you’re both adjusting to entirely new roles and an entirely new life which revolves around a little one who’s only responsibilities are to cry, eat, and go to the bathroom.
The majority of the strain partners complain about is often due to the lack of sleep you both experience in the beginning stages of parenthood. You grow irritable and exhausted and it’s only natural to argue with each other because of it.
You may feel lonely and cut off from your old life where you worked and depended on your partner, and went out and did things. This is entirely natural and your partner can’t give you the social stimulation you once had at work or with friends.
Be sure to lean on all your support systems during this time, not just your partner.
Both parties need to ensure they make the time to listen to one another. You must be honest about what you both need, how you’re feeling, and ways you can lighten each other's burdens.
If you need further help solving problems together or even finding a time to sit down and chat, visit a therapist. They are trained in situations such as these and will give you the advice and tools to solve your struggles.
Try to explain your feelings to each other in a concise way and be patient with your partner. Neither of you can fully grasp how the other is doing without talking about it.
It’s normal for priorities to change from each other to focusing on the baby. Be sure to talk a lot prior to giving birth on ways you will find time with each other after the baby comes.
Nurturing your relationship with each other is just as important as nurturing your relationship with your new little one.
6. Pros and Cons of co-sleeping: Should you or Shouldn’t you?
Now a bit of a more controversial topic, co-sleeping. Should your baby be sleeping in your bed with you? The American Academy of Pediatrics warns against bed sharing but does recommend room sharing.
There are several risks for death when bed-sharing. Pillows or blankets can cause suffocation. Furthermore, there's a risk of you or your partner rolling onto the baby.
Room sharing can be made safe by keeping a bassinet or crib next to your bed. This also helps with nighttime feeding rather than having to get up and walk over to the nursery.
Although bed-sharing is not recommended if you do decide this route, make sure to follow the following precautions:
Don’t swaddle a baby who can roll
Minimally dress your baby to avoid overheating
Ensure there are no openings at the footboard or headboard to make sure the baby doesn’t get stuck
Don’t let your baby sleep alone in an adult bed
Make sure your baby’s head does not get covered during sleep
Helpful pregnancy advice for new-time moms
Having your first baby is scary, exciting, and just as much a mix of emotions as the mix of emotions that your hormones will cause when you have your little one.
Take what you think you need from this blog and always feel comfortable to ask questions when you’re nervous about something.
Toronto Therapy Practice is here to help and offers a free 20-minute consultation to ensure we’re the right fit for you.
