Can Individual Therapy Help a Marriage?

Marriage can be difficult, and sometimes you need extra support. 

Sometimes you go through rough patches in your marriage. 

A therapist can help you effectively work through those patches can better your relationship. 

While couples counselling is the typical therapy people seek when their marriage is rocky, it is not the only option. 

Individual counselling is a great option to help your marriage. 

You can learn skills and strategies that can help make you a better person and partner. 

We can help you determine if individual therapy can benefit your marriage! 

Benefits of Individual Therapy During Marriage 

1. Learn coping mechanisms and strategies to navigate your emotions during your relationship

Individual therapy can teach you tons of different skills. 

You can learn emotional regulation skills to help you calm down in heated moments.

Your therapist can teach you to behave intentionally rather than acting out. These sessions can show you to be more considerate of their feelings when you speak and act. Maybe you will learn mindfulness techniques to encourage you to think before acting. 

And having the space to share your emotions with your therapist can help you feel comfortable opening up. 

Opening up to your therapist can motivate you to express your feelings to your partner healthily and vulnerably. 

2. Learn how to communicate assertively and compassionately

Therapy will show you how to speak to your partner to get your point across while hearing theirs. 

You can learn how to actively listen to your partner. 

You can learn collaborative problem-solving techniques for when you two experience a conflict. Learning to fight in healthy ways can make all the difference for your marriage. 

While couples therapy is a great option if both parents struggle with communication, individual therapy can be beneficial if one partner needs more support or guidance. 

Individual therapy provides the space for you to reflect on what causes your communication struggles and work to better them for your partner. 

Therapy can also help you understand that you and your partner must work together to solve a problem, not try to prove each other right or wrong. 

Working with your partner to solve a problem, rather than viewing them as the problem, can change your outlook on your relationship. 

3. Unlearn patterns of behaviour that harm you, your partner, and your marriage

Maybe you know that you are very needy, anxious, distrusting, or flirtatious with others.

These behaviours may stem from past experiences, traumas, or relationships.

They can be very harmful to your partner and your marriage. 

It can be valid to have relational anxieties, especially after a perhaps traumatic experience. 

However, if your anxieties and behaviours are hurting your relationship, it is crucial to work through your unprocessed past. 

Individual therapy can give you the space to understand why you behave in this way and to work to unlearn these patterns. 

You can reflect on your triggers and learn to think more rationally when you experience a trigger. You can then learn healthier behaviours to spark trust and love in your marriage. 

4. Increase your self-esteem and confidence

Individual therapy can help you feel more confident in yourself as a partner. You can learn how to support yourself and your partner better. 

Healing from past trauma can also give you a newfound sense of self-esteem. 

Knowing you can move forward from what was holding you back and improve your marriage can make you feel much better about yourself. 

You deserve to feel confident!

When Should I Seek Individual Therapy for My Marriage? 

You should seek therapy for your marriage as soon as you think that you need it. Many couples wait for more than 6 years after conflicts arise to seek therapy. This is too long to wait in your discomfort, so reach out as soon as you can! 

Therapy can be helpful if you know what role you have been playing in your relationship’s dysfunction. 

Maybe you know that you can be reactive or untrusting. 

Seeking individual therapy can help you understand why you behave in these ways and learn to behave healthily. 

It is also a good option if you are unsure of your negative behavioural patterns. Perhaps your partner tells you you have a certain behavioural pattern you do not notice. 

Going to therapy can help you gain some insight and motivation to change those behaviours for the better. 

Individual therapy also offers privacy to speak about personal issues you may be nervous to share with your partner. 

Maybe the two of you recently took a new step in the relationship, like moving in together, and you are having difficulty adjusting. 

Understandably, you may not want to share that with your partner. But, sharing it with your therapist lets you brainstorm ideas to help you adjust and show up as a good partner. 

Or maybe you have past trauma from your childhood or past relationships that are causing you to feel/act in a negative way. 

Individual therapy can help you process that trauma and mend your attachment style. 

Securing your attachment style can be especially helpful if you struggle with balancing your emotions in the marriage.

Finally, individual therapy is a great choice if you feel like you have lost yourself in your marriage. 

It can be easy to lose your identity in your relationship. 

Therapy can help you redefine boundaries and priorities to be your own person and a more active partner. 

Drawbacks of Individual Therapy 

However, individual therapy may not always be the right choice if you are looking to repair your marriage. 

If you and your partner have specific conflicts to work through, individual therapy cannot give a therapist the full scope of the conflict. 

Thus, your problems may not be able to be resolved as effectively. 

In situations where both partners need to speak their minds and share their perspectives, couples counselling is a better option. 

When is Couples Counselling Better than Individual Counselling? 

Couples counselling can give the therapist the full picture of the conflict and understand each partner’s inner thought processes. To discover if couples counselling can really work, click here.

Attending couples therapy is a better option for couples who want to grow together. 

Couples therapy lets the therapist learn about your dynamic, communication, and attachment styles. 

The two of you can learn more about yourselves and each other and grow as a couple by setting and working towards shared goals 

This is a much better option than individual therapy if both individuals in the relationship need support, as it is more collaborative. 

Couples counselling gives you the relational skills you need to be more successful in your marriage. 

But, the best option to repair your marriage would be pairing couples therapy and individual therapy. 

Individual therapy allows each partner to get individual support to work through their personal issues and behavioural patterns. 

Couples therapy lets both partners learn to endure relational issues as a team. 

If a couple attends both forms of therapy, they can work through their own concerns in individual therapy, and work on marital concerns in couples therapy. 

To save your marriage, attending both couples and individual therapy may be your best bet.

If you know your faults that cause tension in your relationship, seeking individual therapy is a great way to change. 

Individual therapy can be helpful for your marriage if you put in the effort to improve yourself. 

However, if your relationship is in a very fragile spot, one partner attending individual therapy may not be enough. 

Marriage counselling alongside individual therapy would be the best option to save your marriage, but individual therapy can be a good first step. 

If you want to try individual therapy with one of our incredible therapists, click the link below to book your free consultation with us.