How to Support Someone Going Through IVF
In-vitro fertilization (IVF) is an incredible, scary, and nerve-wracking experience for couples, especially for women. Women endure most of the physical toll of IVF, and that can be quite stressful.
When your partner is the person undergoing IVF, you may feel like there is nothing you can do to reduce their exhaustion. However, you can still support them. They need it now more than ever!
Four Key Tips to Support Your Partner Going Through IVF
Supporting your partner by actively listening when they talk
Making their life easier
Reinforcing your partnership
Reminding them of your love
These four tips can offer your partner the love and understanding they need. Coping with IVF can be a lot, but your support can make the process easier.
Actively Listen When They Talk
The first way to support someone going through IVF is to let them talk. Let your partner talk about IVF, their emotions, their fears, their experiences — everything!
And when your partner talks, actively listen. Give them your full attention, so they feels like you are hearing them.
IVF can feel isolating and can be physically, emotionally, and mentally strenuous. So, if your partner needs to complain or needs a shoulder to cry on, be there for them!
Actively listening when your partner shares their experiences shows that you care about what they’re enduring.
You can even ask them questions that allow them to express themselves. For example, if they mention feeling burnt out, ask them if there’s something making them feel that way. Encouraging them to open up more can help them feel more comfortable venting to you.
Further, you can ensure your partner decides what information you two share (and who you share with) when others ask about your IVF journey. Some people may ask personal questions about your partner’s health and IVF journey, so discussing these boundaries in advance can be helpful.
Your partner will likely be fielding invasive questions, and you can help by reaffirming your partner’s boundaries with others. Standing up for your their boundaries saves them from continually defending their privacy.
Make Their Life Easier
Second, you can find ways to help make other parts of their lives easier. If you can make their home or work life easier in some way, do so.
For example, if your partner typically does laundry, mows the lawn, or cooks dinners, do those tasks for them. If your partner needs a hand with some easy work tasks, try to finish them.
Completing chores for your partner can help them save energy and let them rest after appointments and treatments.
If you can complete the most difficult, unenjoyable task your partner has to do (e.g. cleaning the bathrooms), do it. Finishing the hardest part of their home chores or work tasks shows that you listen when they vent and that you really care.
Beyond helping support their daily tasks, find ways to help your partner relax. If your partner loves meditation, exercise, prefers going to the spa, or eating out, encourage them to do so!
IVF can be stressful and draining, so your partner deserves the time to engage in activities they love or do things that will boost their mood. Encouraging them to do what they love can calm any guilt they may feel about relaxing.
Reinforce Your Partnership
The third thing you can do to support your partner in enduring IVF is to reinforce that you two are partners and you are committed to the process of IVF too.
To show this, attend every appointment or session with your partner and offer support and encouragement. Do not let them go to these appointments alone — going together shows that you both are interested in the purpose, information, and outcome of these appointments.
Attending everything with your partner reaffirms that IVF is a joint effort. It also prevents them from ever feeling like you do not care enough to attend.
Likewise, helping out with the process of IVF is another way to show your commitment to this treatment. If your partner is squeamish about needles, you can help your partner inject their medication. If you are the squeamish partner, you can help with the prep or post-injection care, like making sure they have water.
Just find ways to carry some of the weight of IVF for your partner. The process of IVF can feel isolating, so do not let your partner feel isolated from you.
The final way to reinforce your partnership would be to make the same lifestyle changes your partner makes to improve IVF success. So, if your partner decides to eat clean or exercise more, make the same changes.
Making these changes together proves that you two are a team and ensures that your partner does not feel like the only one making massive life changes.
Remind Them That You Love Them
Finally, remind your partner how much you love and appreciate them. Sending your partner encouraging texts, writing them positive notes, or spontaneously buying them flowers can make your partner happy and show that you are thinking about them.
Cheer your partner on when they feel unmotivated, and reassure them when they feel worried. Offering stability and comfort shows your partner your love and reliability.
You can also show your partner love (and encourage them to show themselves love) by boosting their self-esteem, as the process of IVF may lead your partner to feel insecure about themselves. If your partner does feel insecure, reassure them of your love and compliment their personality, character traits, and appearance (for example, “you are strong”, “you are resilient”, or “you are beautiful”) to help improve their confidence.
Do not criticize their emotions nor make jokes at their expense.
IVF is tiring, but using the tips discussed in this post can help make things feel easier for your partner.
Actively listening and asking your partner to share their feelings shows that you care about what they are experiencing. Making their life easier by completing their chores and encouraging self-care allows you to take an active role in relieving their stress.
Attending every appointment together and making the same lifestyle changes reaffirms that you two are a team. And reminding them of your love through kind gestures and words helps your partner feel celebrated and secure.
Your partner gives most of their energy to the IVF process, so it’s up to you to support them. By letting them talk, making their life easier, solidifying your partnership, and reaffirming your love, you are doing everything you can to support your partner through IVF, and your partner will be grateful for your help.
If you are looking for additional help during this stressful process, Toronto Therapy Practice can help. Click the link below to learn more about our services.
