Trusting Your Instincts: 6 Things to Consider Before Committing to a Therapist
The relationship and connection between you and your therapist is the most important aspect of therapy. When choosing a therapist, reflect on how you feel during your therapy sessions and trust your instincts!
When looking for a therapist, you know what is best for you.
You likely know what type of support you want or how you want a therapist to treat you.
There are different things to consider before starting therapy, which can help you confirm whether you and your therapist are the right match.
You must prioritize your feelings of trust and comfort toward the therapist.
The therapist-client relationship relies on your trust and comfort!
Six things to ask yourself before committing to a therapist
Does the therapist actively listen to you?
Does the therapist respect your appointment time?
Does the therapist address and validate your concerns?
Do you feel seen, heard, and respected during your sessions?
Does your experience make you feel comfortable?
Do their skills and therapeutic approach match your needs?
Whether the therapist actively listens or interrupts
When starting therapy, the first thing to consider is if the therapist listens to you. A good therapist will actively listen to you and not interrupt.
Keep an eye on this throughout your consultation or first session.
Do they cut you off? How is their body language when you speak?
A therapist who actively listens to you is much better than an interrupting therapist.
Active listening would look like the therapist facing you, maintaining eye contact, and acknowledging what you say.
Therapists actively listening can help you feel more supported and at ease when sharing your emotions.
You want to find a therapist who shows that support and puts in the effort to help you feel at ease — which is what you deserve!
A therapist who interrupts you may make you feel rushed and unseen, which may prevent you from opening up further.
You may feel hesitant to share what is happening in your life if your therapist interrupts you or makes you feel less important.
So, prioritize finding a therapist who actively listens to you.
Whether the therapist respects your appointment time
The next most important consideration is whether the therapist respects your time.
Do they show up late to your appointments? Do they routinely let other clients cut into your scheduled time?
These situations may be frustrating, and if the therapist does not offer to make up the missed time, it shows a lack of respect for your time.
This lack of respect may make it harder for you to feel supported.
Also, pay attention to how the therapist acts during your appointments.
Are they constantly checking the clock? Do they cut your sessions short?
These behaviours may make you feel like your therapist is itching to get out of sessions, which can be hurtful.
You want the therapist you choose to be one who genuinely wants to support you.
Your time is also just as valuable as the therapist's time! If you pay for their full attention during a specific time, you deserve their full attention.
A therapist who does not respect your appointment time may not show you respect in other situations. The right therapist respects your appointment time because they understand how important your time is!
How the therapist addresses and validates your concerns
An important thing to consider is how the therapist addresses your issues and whether they validate your feelings.
How do they talk about the concerns that you bring up?
Do they use words that minimize how you feel? Or do they describe your conflicts in a way that accurately captures what you go through?
Having a therapist who uses the right wording can help you feel more seen and validated than a therapist who minimizes your feelings.
That type of minimization may make you feel unsafe sharing your emotions, and that is not the goal of therapy!
Using words that accurately reflect how you feel (“devastated” rather than “sad”) can ensure you feel validated.
A therapist should validate your emotions, which means understanding the full depth of your feelings.
Also, consider how engaged your therapist is during your sessions.
Do they acknowledge what you say or make you feel like you bore them?
A validating, acknowledging therapist will help you open up and feel more comfortable sharing your conflicts and opinions.
An invalidating therapist will not give you the space to talk about your true feelings and may make you feel more ashamed than when you started therapy.
You deserve a therapist who will support your comfort and growth during therapist.
If you feel seen, heard, and respected during your sessions
Reflect on whether your therapist sees, hears, and respects you.
This is the most essential aspect of therapy. The relationship you build with your therapist is crucial in helping you grow and thrive in therapy.
So, after the consultation or first session, reflect on it. Do you feel like the real you was seen and appreciated during your session?
This process of reflection may be very individual, as different things may make different people feel supported.
Consider your therapist’s body language, facial expressions, tone, and word choice. Think about how they respond to you.
How does the way they speak to you make you feel? Do you feel respected and seen?
Think about how they greet you at the start and end of sessions. Reflect on how they talk to you when you are not sharing difficult moments from your life.
A good therapist will be kind and compassionate the whole session without treating you like you are broken or weak for what you have shared in your sessions.
If you feel like your therapist sees you as a wounded person, it may feel more difficult to overcome that. Ensuring that your therapist sees you as a whole person can help you see your potential for growth!
If the therapist has the experience that makes you feel comfortable
A common thing people consider when choosing a therapist is the therapist’s experiences.
Reflect on whether the therapist has the experience/expertise to support you or make you feel most comfortable with them.
Feel free to ask them whether they have previously supported people who endured the same type of issues that you want support for.
Are they trained to perform the therapeutic styles or techniques that you want to see in your sessions? Some therapists may have different certifications or credentials that allow them to support you differently. Does your therapist have the qualifications and training that make you feel like they can support you?
There are so many types of training that a therapist can complete — all of which can be beneficial, but some may be more relevant for what you are enduring.
Finding a therapist that is best for you may feel challenging, but there is a therapist out there with the right expertise for you. Do not give up!
Choose what experience is important to you, and choose your therapist based on that!
If their skills and therapy approach match your needs
The last thing you should consider before starting therapy is the fit.
Does the therapist’s skills and approach fit what you are looking for? Is there a match? Of course, you need to find a therapist who can meet your needs.
You likely know the skills you want to learn or the therapy style/ approach you want to use. So, does your therapist know how to teach the skills that you want to learn?
Do they use the therapeutic approach that makes you feel most supported and at ease?
You can talk to therapists about what styles they have experience using, what approaches they prefer, and what skills they love recommending.
Learning more about what a therapist practices with their other clients can give you a sense of what your therapy with them would look like.
It can also help you ensure whether this therapist can adequately support you or if you need to keep looking for the right therapist.
You deserve a therapist who can give you the support that you want and need.
The therapist's style/approach and skills are important so trust your instincts on what you need and do not compromise!
There is so much to reflect on when choosing a therapist.
Hopefully, this list of six things can help guide your reflection on the therapeutic fit before committing to a therapist.
Remember that your feelings of trust and comfort should always be your top priority.
Therapy involves discussing personal, emotionally heavy topics, so it is essential to feel comfortable with and supported by your therapist.
Trust your instincts when choosing a therapist. You will know when you have found the right fit. If you’d like to know more about finding a therapist who’s right for you, click the link below.
