What is Couples Therapy and How Will It Help?
What is Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is an opportunity for intimate partners to discuss and resolve any of their relationship conflicts or difficulties with the assistance of a therapist who provides impartial mediation. The therapist creates an accepting environment that allows both partners to feel safe in expressing their true feelings and to feel validated by both their partner and therapist. Couples therapy gives partners the space and guidance to be vulnerable, actively listen to each other, and work towards positive solutions for their difficulties. There are different types of couples therapy, so finding the type of therapy that best fits the needs of you and your partner would be very beneficial. For example, if you plan to start/have started a family with your partner, prenatal/perinatal couples counselling would assist in planning and adjusting your goals and roles as individuals, as a couple, and as a family. Another type of couples therapy that is very common because of its effectiveness is called emotion-focused therapy.
Emotion Focused Therapy
Emotion-focused therapy (EFT) is most beneficial for couples experiencing emotional distress, couples who may feel like the relationship is irreparable, and couples who struggle to express their emotions freely. Developed with an understanding of adult attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganized/fearful-avoidant, and secure attachment), EFT focuses on how our emotions influence our lived experiences and our desire to change our behaviours. Thus, to improve our personal experiences and interpersonal relationships, we need a deeper understanding and awareness of our emotions and a better ability to regulate our emotions — all of which EFT encourages. EFT is effective for promoting better emotional regulation and relational bonds between partners, as well as teaching compassion and understanding.
EFT teaches clients how to comprehend, accept, and improve their emotions and their partner's emotions through three stages. The first stage, conflict de-escalation, allows couples to calmly discuss their primary conflict and understand each other’s emotions associated with the conflict. Once couples resolve their initial conflict, the second therapeutic stage teaches them to change how they interact with their emotions and each other. During this stage, couples learn techniques for personal emotional regulation, clear communication, and displaying gratitude within the relationship. Clear communication of one’s needs and displays of gratitude toward their partner help rebuild the couple’s connection and increases each partner’s positive emotions. The final stage ensures that these new communication and emotional regulation techniques are permanent changes that produce long-term improvements, restoring the couples’ intimate bond even after sessions end.
Benefits of Couples Therapy
While EFT is an incredible type of couples therapy, other types are very effective too! Couples therapy teaches partners to understand and empathize with each other’s feelings, thoughts, and actions and eventually to develop new communication and emotional regulation patterns to use in the place of old, maladaptive patterns. By promoting these healthier patterns, partners learn better coping skills that allow them to restore trust, intimacy, connection, and positive feelings within their relationship. Couples therapy is very effective, with 97% of couples who attended couples therapy reporting that it supported and assisted the positive growth of their relationship. Of course, the benefits of couples therapy depend on the couples’ willingness to grow. Couples that enter couples therapy intending to change for the better and repair their relationship will have significantly better outcomes than couples who come with the intention of therapy “fixing” their partner. If you feel like you and your partner could use a safe, supportive environment to make positive changes and repair your relationship, please reach out to us. One of our trained therapists can help you and your partner resolve relational difficulties and strengthen your communication, intimacy, and connection through emotion-focused therapy and other types of couples’ counselling.
