6 Goals to Keep in Mind When Working with a Therapist

Understanding how to find the right therapist is critical. And to find the right therapist, you need to know what goals you want to achieve with therapy.

Goals guide us. 

The goals we set for ourselves influence our growth. 

Some goals can be harder to achieve than others — some need assistance. If you are thinking of starting therapy, you should think about what goals you want to reach. Consider what areas of your life you want to work on before searching for a therapist. Setting intentional and clear goals can be hard without reflection and a goal-setting framework. Knowing your goals, different types of goals, and how to set goals will allow you to find a supportive therapist and get more out of therapy.

What Are Your Goals? 

The first thing to do before working with a therapist is to find out what your goals are. Think about why you want to go to therapy. 

What do you want to change, improve, stop, or resolve? 

Is there something you want to get out of therapy? 

Be honest about what you want — therapy is what you make it. 

If you can’t think of specific goals right away, that’s okay. 

Reflect on general areas of your life and what brings you the most negative emotions. “Do you struggle socially? Is being alone hard for you”? 

Finding out what areas you want to work on, even without specific goals, can help you and your therapist create more concrete goals together. 

Approach your therapist with your goals, and ensure they can help you achieve your goal The right therapist will support your goals! 

You can also create an action plan with your therapist.

Include the major goals you want to achieve and stepping-stone goals to indicate that you’re on track. 

Types of Goals 

There are two main types of goals: avoidance goals and approach goals. 

Avoidance goals are goals set to stop doing something. Like, “I want to stop smoking” or “I don’t want to get aggressive when I’m mad”. 

Goals that focus on getting rid of negative behaviours may not be achievable. These goals often lead to more negative feelings, lower self-esteem, and lower goal satisfaction. Approach goals, however, focus on improving good outcomes. 

Goals like “I want to eat more vegetables” or “I want to start being kinder to others” are approach goals and are more achievable. 

A focus on increasing positive events motivates us more than avoiding negative ones. However, we can still achieve goals that involve stopping a bad outcome if we rephrase the goal.

For example, instead of setting a goal like: “I want to stop smoking”, set a goal like “I want to smoke 0 cigarettes a day”, or “I want to go on a walk when I feel the urge to smoke”. 

Goal Setting Framework 

The most effective goal-setting framework is the “SMART” goal. “SMART” is an acronym! 

Goals should be SPECIFIC. 

Think about exactly what you want to achieve. Consider all of the factors. Who will you need help from? Where do you plan to work toward your goal? Most importantly, why do you care about achieving this goal? 

Understanding your motivation will help drive you to achieve your goal. Your goal should also be MEASURABLE. 

Having a way to measure your success lets you know when you’ve accomplished your goal. Are you measuring it with numbers? Skills? Something else? 

Knowing how you will measure your progress is very important. 

Next, the goal you set must be ATTAINABLE. 

Is it a realistic goal for you right now? Some goals can be too bold! 

But you can also make bold goals more achievable. 

Think about what resources, skills, or abilities you need to make your goal easier to attain.

All goals should also be REALISTIC. 

Consider if your goal is worthwhile to you. 

Do you have the time and energy to achieve this goal right now? 

Compared to your other roles and goals, what priority is this new one? 

Is it a high priority, or do you have too much on your plate to work towards the goal at this moment? 

If it’s low priority, save it for later. If you want to achieve it now, go ahead! Finally, your goals should be TIME-BOUND. 

Goals need deadlines to motivate you to achieve them. 

Having a set timeline encourages you to keep pursuing the goal and also tells you when you need to move on or adjust your expectations. 

Six Goals to Keep in Mind When Working with a Therapist

There are tons of different goals that you can set for therapy. If you’re looking for inspiration, here are some examples.

1. Learning Healthier Coping Skills

People commonly attend therapy to learn better coping skills. 

There are a lot of positive coping strategies to learn and practice in therapy. Skills like mindfulness, meditation, and healthy distractions are great for your mental health. Practicing these with a therapist can help you automatically use them when faced with a stressful situation. 

2. Reducing Negative Self-Talk 

Self-talk is the way we speak to ourselves in our heads. 

Negative self-talk is detrimental to your well-being. It can increase your risk for anxiety, depression, and so much more. 

If you want to change your self-talk to be more positive, you can set this as a goal! A therapist can help you understand your negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-talk. 

3. Practicing Mindfulness More Frequently

Mindfulness can be a difficult practice. 

With the help of a therapist, you can learn strategies for every day, passive mindfulness, and more immersive practices too. 

Passive strategies, like focusing on your breath, can be used when doing other activities like walking. 

Active strategies require more effort, like mindful yoga or journalling, but can feel more rewarding! 

Therapists can help you learn to practice mindfulness more often.

4. Navigating a Difficult Situation 

When faced with an emotionally hard experience, therapists can help. 

A therapist can help you process the emotions caused by a tough situation. You can discuss your feelings, how you want to handle the situation, and how you want to move forward. 

A therapist can act as a sounding board when you’re going through a hard time.

5. Improving Interpersonal Communication 

If you struggle with communicating your feelings or needs, therapy may be beneficial. Therapists can help you learn how to deal with conflict, negative discussions, or emotional topics. 

They can also help you practice communicating certain ideas that you may struggle to talk about!

6. Fostering Self-Compassion

Another common therapy goal is to foster more self-compassion. 

A therapist can help you try different techniques to increase self-compassion and see what works best for you. 

While these are just some examples, you can create any goal you want!

These are yours to set and achieve with the help of a therapist. 

The goals you keep in mind when working with a therapist are your own. 

You choose what you want to work on and how you want to improve. Your therapist is there to support your growth. 

Your goals might change throughout your time in therapy, and that’s okay! 

As long as you have open and honest communication with your therapist, you can discuss changing your goals and adapting your sessions. 

Understanding what goals to set when working with a therapist is just one step in discovering how to find a therapist in Toronto who’s right for you. Click the link below to find out more.