7 Characteristics of a Good Therapist

The process of finding the right therapist for you can feel daunting. 

There are so many important things to consider, especially the way you feel with your therapist. You should reflect on how the therapist makes you feel during and after sessions. Therapists with certain qualities are more likely to make you feel validated and supported. 

So, to help narrow your search for the right therapist, look for one with these seven characteristics of a good therapist! 

1. Open 

Is your therapist open to understanding who you are? 

Are they open to learning about your trauma and how that trauma causes you to respond in triggering situations? 

You deserve a therapist open to hearing you out when you talk about your side of a situation. Are they open to trying different approaches or techniques you want to try?

If you found some activities, techniques, or therapeutic support that you want to try to integrate into therapy, are they open to trying? 

Further, are they open to the goals you want to achieve? 

Your therapist should support the goals that you want to achieve and help you form a game plan to achieve them. 

A close-minded therapist may not take the time to get to know the real you or to see your perspective in difficult situations. 

An open-minded therapist can offer more support and guide you to be open-minded. Having an open mind can help you problem-solve when faced with conflict! 

2. Curious 

Is the therapist curious to learn more about you, your identity, culture, and more? Are they curious to understand why you sought out therapy? 

The right therapist is genuinely curious about who you are and why you want to change through therapy. Knowing all this can help ensure you see the best outcomes from therapy. 

Is the therapist curious to make connections between your old experiences and current behaviours? 

A good therapist wants to understand how your previous traumas and hardships influence your current thoughts, attitudes, and behaviours. 

Curiosity is necessary in a therapist, as a curious therapist will encourage introspection. 

They can be more supportive when you dig deep, reflect on your experiences, and process your traumas. 

The right therapist will also be curious to learn how they can best support you. 

Whether that is from learning what has worked for you in the past or collaborating to find new support, they want to help you as much as they can!

3. Empathetic 

Your therapist needs to be empathetic. 

You can assess their empathy through their body language, facial expressions, and words. Do they look you in the eye? Do they lean in when you speak? 

Do they smile and celebrate when you talk about your wins? 

These actions show that the therapist genuinely cares and empathizes with you. Does your therapist validate how you feel? 

An empathetic therapist will validate you and encourage you to open up without fear of judgment from them. 

A therapist who lacks empathy may make you feel hesitant to open up because of their invalidation. 

The point of therapy is to feel heard and understood. To meet that goal, you need to find an empathetic therapist. 

4. Actively Engaged 

You deserve a therapist who is actively engaged in your therapy sessions. 

Pay attention to whether they actively listen to you or whether their focus is elsewhere during your session.

Are they showing that they are listening by reflecting on what you say or by validating you? Are they taking notes when you mention something important? 

Or are they looking at the clock, the floor, their laptop -- anything but you? 

You can also check your therapist's engagement by seeing what they comment on during sessions. 

Are they noticing patterns in your behaviour or making connections you would not have noticed? 

That insight shows engagement — the therapist must be actively listening and assessing what you tell them! 

A therapist who nods and makes minimal comments may not be as engaged. 

When you pay for therapy sessions, you also pay for the therapist’s full attention and engagement. 

5. Balance Validation and Exploration 

Validation and exploration are two important concepts in therapy, and balancing them is a skill of a good therapist. 

A good therapist will make you feel validated. 

They will be empathetic of your feelings and hear you out. 

However, overvalidation can also be a bad thing.

So, a good therapist will help you explore more introspectively to understand your behaviour and unlearn some unhealthy patterns. 

Therapy should support you in growing, which requires you to reflect on difficult experiences. A good therapist will non-judgmentally guide you through this reflection and exploration. Validation and exploration need to be finely balanced, and the right therapist can balance them! 

6. See Your Individuality 

A good therapist sees all of the unique and individual things about you. 

There are so many special things that make you, YOU. 

Good therapists not only notice these individualities, but they celebrate them and use them to your benefit! 

Your originalities can influence your treatment and make therapy more effective for you. 

The right therapist will use different techniques, approaches, and activities based on your preferences and tendencies. 

This personalization can encourage more growth. 

Having a treatment that suits your exact needs can help you achieve your goals more efficiently and gain more from your time in therapy. 

7. Values the Therapeutic Relationship 

The connection between a client and therapist is paramount for how the client does in therapy. 

Studies show that a stronger, more trusting therapeutic relationship encourages the client to make more progress during therapy and succeed even afterwards. 

The right therapist for you understands the importance of your bond and puts in the effort to strengthen it. 

You can tell whether a therapist prioritizes this relationship by seeing if they show compassion, hold space for you, and make you feel safe.

Do they show you that you can trust them? Do you feel a connection? 

The therapeutic relationship is crucial, so do not compromise on this trait. There are certain characteristics that a good therapist has. 

When you are looking for therapy, you want to find the right one for you, and the right one will be open, curious, empathetic, engaged, and compassionate. 

The right therapist for you has the seven qualities described above and more. To learn more about how to find a therapist who’s right for you, click the link below.